Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques out there. Many of them are widely used and treated as the gospel. But if you want to be an effective father, you can skip most of them and concentrate on common sense rules that have always worked. They won't always make you the most popular Dad, but they'll always be effective:

Rule #1 Expect a Great Deal From Your Kids

If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they'll rise to the occasion. Everything from saying please and thank-you, to efforts in school or on the athletic field. If expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere, your kids will know you think a lot of them. And when they know this, they'll respond.

Rule #2 Always Be Willing To Be Part of the Problem

When you're convinced that someone in your family is causing the problems and you're blaming them for it, you better realize that this problem won't get better until you accept that you're making it worse by blaming. It may feel good to blame, but it never improves anything. Only love and acceptance will make a positive difference.

Rule #3 Know Your Child's Life Intimately

It's sad to see how many fathers know the stock market more intimately than their own child. Get to know all you can about your kids. Know what their favorite toys and colors are, who their best friends are, who their heroes are, etc. By showing interest, you're showing you love them. By not asking, you show that they're not that important to you.

Rule #4 Say "No" to Your Kids

There's an awful lot of stuff out there for kids these days...and of course they want to have it all. Kids who get almost everything they want typically aren't very happy kids. Kids learn discipline, self-control, and how to delay gratification when they're told no by their parents. It may be a difficult struggle, but saying no and meaning it will help you to have happy, healthy, and cooperative kids.

Rule #5 Hitting or Spanking Your Kids Doesn't Work

There are plenty of studies showing that kids who are spanked have lower self-esteem. Spanking your kids will also be likely to increase the very kinds of behaviors that you're spanking them for. As a father, do you really want your child to be afraid of you?

Rule #6 Treat Your Partner Extremely Well

This is where your kids get their most important information about relationships between their parents. Make a great effort not to fight in front of the kids. Remember to be kind more often than trying to be right.

Rule #7 Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Many parents spend time threatening their children when their kids aren't cooperating. But if you don't follow through on the consequences, you can threaten till the cows come home. Your children will learn to ignore the threats. They will understand action. If certain privileges are taken away because of their lack of cooperation, they'll learn very quickly that you mean business. Try your best to align the consequences with the action. ( "If you don't clean your room in time, you won't have time for stories before bed.")

Rule #8 Really Listen to Your Kids

Don't just hear their words, but learn to understand the meaning behind what they say as well. "I'm picking my own clothes!" might mean that your child wants more responsibility or independence. Be able to reflect back what your child says to you. If you want your child to listen to you, you absolutely must listen to her/him.

Rule #9 Give Your Kids Responsibility as They Grow Older

When your kids are very young, perhaps they just help make their beds in the morning and keep their rooms clean. As they get older, add things to their list. Tell them that this is how a family works?everybody has certain things that they do. If you do it when they're young, it's more likely they'll do it when they're older. Don't reward them for things that should be expected of them.

Rule #10 Tell Your Kids They're Great All the Time

It's especially important to tell them this when they're not at their best. It's easy to tell them when things are going well! Make it a point to tell them specifically what you think is great about them. This will be more meaningful than generalized praise.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

---

Powered by Feedzilla

Contact Us Today For Ad Information...

Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Cheap Domain Names

Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means

Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More

ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude

"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More

Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD

Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More

Fraternal Twin Parenting Concerns

Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More

The POWER of Reading

Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More

Tips for Single Parents

Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More

The Post-Holiday Blues In Stepfamilies

In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More

Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?

Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More

Joining a Gang: How to Help Kids Prevent it, How to Tell if Theyve Joined One, How to Help Them Out

While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More

7 Ways to Survive the Start of the School Year

It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More

Preparing Your Child for the Three Rs

There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More

What Are Your Children Really Watching?

Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More

Top Ten Reasons to Hold Family Meetings

1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius - Developing Leadership Qualities

Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More

Ultimate Airplane Themed Games & Activities for your Childs Birthday Party

Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents

What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More

Children, Entitlement and God

"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More

Unschooling - the Benefits of Home Based Education

Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More

Jammin with Your Kids: The Wonderful World of Music

Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More

Single Mother Sanity Savers Pt. 1

Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More

Second Letter to My Daughter

Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More

Adoption: Laughter and Tears

If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More

The ABCs of Raising Twins

As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More

Over-Focused ADHD

The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More