Grief Support: The Dos
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to best help those in grief.
1) Do give grievers the permission to grieve. You do this by your presence, understanding and acceptance of where they are.
2) Do expect volatile reactions from the bereaved. Those in grief are on an emotional roller coaster.
3) Do be "present" to the bereaved. Give the griever your full attention as they share their loss with you. It is so very meaningful to them and therapeutic as well.
4) Do view the loss from the griever's perspective. Their loss is unique and their pain is their own. You cannot know their loss without viewing it from their perspective.
5) Do maintain an appropriate emotional distance from the griever. Do not make their loss your loss.
6) Do encourage verbalization of feelings and memories of the deceased. Talking about the one who died is therapeutic for those suffering grief. It helps them process their loss and begin to formulate perspective.
7) Do help the bereaved recognize and accept the loss.
8) Do listen non-judgmentally and with acceptance.
9) Do allow the grieved to cry, talk, and review without interruption.
10) Do help the griever with normative data about the grief process. Assure the grieved that they are not "crazy" and that what they are experiencing is all a part of the grief process.
11) Do help the griever with practical responsibilities (grocery shopping, take the children for a couple of hours, drive to the bank, make phone calls, etc.).
12) Do help the griever understand the need to develop a new relationship with the deceased.
13) Do be informed about grief and providing gentle compassionate care.
14) Do be helpful and keep in touch.
15) Do encourage healing.
16) Do encourage counseling if behaviors appear pathological or extreme.
17) Do be aware that weekends, holidays and evenings may be more difficult for the bereaved.
18) Do help the bereaved avoid unrealistic expectations as to how they "should" feel and when they will be better. It is helpful when appropriate to say, "I don't know how you are able to do as well as you are."
19) Do ask griever to accompany you on some outing or engage in some activities with you (at appropriate time of course).
20) Do encourage grievers to participate in support groups.
Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.
Powered by Feedzilla
Contact Us Today For Ad Information... Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and... Read More Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so... Read More It felt like I had been run over by a... Read More "Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead."... Read More Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns... Read More Too many people are dying alone?The dying are one of... Read More For most children, their first experience with grief comes with... Read More Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack.... Read More Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of... Read More My dearest Grandma, I will never forget you & sorry... Read More If tears are an indication of how special my relationship... Read More Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been... Read More When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house,... Read More I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped... Read More During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death... Read More The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states... Read More Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds... Read More When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More Do you spend most of your time inside or outside... Read More I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.That sounds... Read More The impatient tooting of a car horn startled us into... Read More The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult... Read More October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me... Read More Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More The question of whether, say, a man should have the... Read More
Cheap Domain Names
When Change Comes (Dealing With Grief and Loss)
Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide
The Valley of Sorrow or My Life as a Well Digger
Coping with Grief - Its Called Living Through It
Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living!
Do You Know Someone Whos Dying?
Whens Sarah Coming Home? Helping Your Child Understand Death
Mexico: Death in Mexico
How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief
GoodBye GrandMa
Good Grief!
Is Death Really the End or the Window to A New Beginning?
Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief
Grief
Death Poem
Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief
Silent Tears - from a Norwegian Hospital
What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift?
When The Spirit Leaves The Body
You Have to Show Up: On Small Miracles (Okay, maybe not so small)
Dying On the Inside: A Childs Grief
Sympathy Messages
Grief Masks
Men and Grief
A Critical Assessment of Euthanasia
Contact Us Today For Ad Information... Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for... Read More Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face... Read More During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved... Read More All of us at one time or another have felt... Read More 1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better.... Read More The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states... Read More Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25,... Read More ("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We... Read More Few of us care to think about the inevitability of... Read More Angelo C, was a good man that never did any... Read More When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or... Read More Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of... Read More Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and... Read More Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his... Read More If we were to organize a list of the thorniest... Read More Suicide is a nightmare for survivors of loved ones. Death... Read More What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us... Read More Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns... Read More The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult... Read More Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing... Read More Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack.... Read More It was a couple of weeks after Christmas, and I... Read More My dearest Grandma, I will never forget you & sorry... Read More Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma... Read More When he looked at me, it was clear my father... Read More
Affordable and Reliable Web
Hosting Starting
Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo
We are the Reflection of our Lives: How to Survive Loss & Humility
Who has the Worst Pain
One Womans Way of Dealing With Grief
Grief Support: The Don?ts
Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief
The Lesson of a Mothers Death
Traumas as Social Interactions
Dying at Home ? A Precious Gift
Angelo Dies
Coping With A Funeral
Made in Heaven
You Can Help A Grieving Heart
Euthanasia: How Will I Know When its Time?
Miracles?
Suicide Survivor
Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart
Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living!
Sympathy Messages
How To Write A Eulogy
Mexico: Death in Mexico
An Unexpected Letter
GoodBye GrandMa
Physiological Consequences of Carrying Emotional Trauma
Dads, Life, and Death
Dealing with Grief & Loss |